Navigating Grief: The Dual Process and Healing through Loss
Grief, a natural and necessary part of life, comes in waves, and it often requires a delicate balance between confronting the loss and stepping away from it temporarily. The Dual Process model of grief helps us understand this oscillation—how we need both to process the emotional pain of loss and to take rest periods to recover. This balance allows us to heal, gradually finding wholeness again. The process of recovery from loss is not linear. It is dynamic, and the shifting between intense emotions is a part of that healing journey. These oscillations can be seen as the brain's way of stabilizing itself, ensuring that, in time, the overwhelming emotions of grief begin to settle.
Grief in Marriage and Family Therapy: A Constant Companion
In my practice as a therapist, grief is a constant companion, often showing up for clients in unexpected ways. Grief, at its core, is the experience of losing a relationship, especially the deep severance of an attachment bond. This form of grief can be particularly traumatic when the loss occurs suddenly or unexpectedly, or when the end of a relationship is tied to events such as infidelity, abandonment, or death. In cases of sudden death, such as from suicide, grief may even feel like betrayal. Survivors often struggle with the feeling of abandonment by the loved one who chose to leave.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ famous five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—are often referenced as a framework for understanding the grieving process. However, these stages are rarely experienced in a neat or linear progression. Grief is messy, non-linear, and at times repetitive, and it takes its own course before ultimately giving way to a sense of peace. The process of grieving is exhausting, emotionally draining, and tumultuous. Yet, it also holds great potential for deep personal transformation.
Grief’s Transformational Power
To walk through the valley of grief is to engage in a shared human experience. It is to connect with the profound sorrow of not only our own personal losses but the grief of our species and the world at large. For those who hold spiritual beliefs, grief can be an opportunity to experience a deeper connection with God or the divine, as we grapple with the loss of the familiar and step into the unknown. It is in this space of uncertainty and pain that transformation occurs—where new strength, resilience, and understanding emerge.
Navigating Grief with Compassionate Support
If you are navigating grief or the loss of a relationship, it’s important to know that you are not alone in this journey. Whether the loss is recent or has lingered for years, it’s essential to acknowledge the weight of the grief while allowing space for the necessary rest and self-compassion. As a therapist, I am here to guide you through the complexities of grief, helping you integrate the emotions that come with loss and ultimately find a path toward healing and peace.
Reach out for support in navigating grief, loss, and emotional recovery. Together, we can work to transform pain into personal growth and healing.
